I’ll be honest – I screwed up! Big time. And you know what, I’m human and I do it from time to time. Didn’t really expect to do it during the first week of the year, but here we are and I am owning it publicly.
I’m not going to go into details however I am embroiled in a dispute with two companies that basically owe me money. The situation on both fronts has escalated and I’ve had to get our Government authorities involved. It’s not huge sums of money (we are talking at a little less than $500 – if it were $50 I’d just let it go and move on), but for me, it’s the principle of the matters. Anyway, enough about that. I realized over the weekend (after I had been hung up on twice) that I actually had a template that I could have had in front of me that really could have better supported me in handling the situations much more elegantly and eloquently. So I thought I would share what I’ve got in the hope it helps you too in handling conflict and confrontation.
- State the facts.
- Express the disappointment using only proactive and productive language.
- Review what has happened. Look for the lessons to ensure it does not re-occur.
- What can I do now.
- Say what I mean and show my feelings. Be real. Avoid emotional explosions which stop me from being effective.
- Stay on track for doing something positive.
- Don’t become a prisoner of anger that slows recovery from challenges.
- Be hopeful of a positive outcome and ensure I feel empowered in taking the action I am taking.
- Isolate, limit, externalize the problem.
- Use time, place and cause to optimistically explain what happened.
- Believe that a difference can be made.
- Most importantly – stay in control.
- Look at all factors (ie whatever the issue relates directly to, me and my relationship with whatever it is, what I did). What did I do right? What could I improve? What can I learn from this?
- Get over it quickly.
- Focus on gathering the evidence and solving the problem.
- Look at it as a learning experience.
- Remember the consequences.
- It’s my choice and I am responsible for the outcome.
- Challenge a belief when it is not working for me.
Feel free to copy and save this somewhere and use it when needed. Hopefully not very often. I’ve certainly learned my lesson and this week I am very optimistic about positive outcomes on all fronts. And that is all that I can do and control. The rest is out of my hands. Hope this helps.