My choice for this topic today is particularly personal. Attachment I find is especially niggling and challenging for me so I thought that maybe writing about it might support me in finding a solution through it. You’re probably exactly the same – you know what you want and if you’re as impatient as me, you want it yesterday. But sometimes in order to attract the very thing we want into our lives, we have to be willing to let it go.
So welcome to a delightful dive into the world of attachments – a whimsical exploration of the art of detachment. No, we’re not talking about the “I’m too attached to my phone” kind (although, let’s be real, who isn’t guilty of that?). We’re delving into the intricate and often complicated web of human attachment – from the emotional to the downright weird. Let’s uncover the secrets to loosening our grip on life’s treasures and embracing the liberating power of letting go. It’s a skill as essential as learning to ride a bike or mastering the perfect pancake flip. So grab your sense of humour and get ready to bid adieu to those pesky attachments that have been clinging to you like that persistent mosquito in your bedroom late at night.
Let’s start with the basics, shall we? Attachment, in its simplest form, is the bond we form with people, things and even ideas and concepts. It’s that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you hug your favourite pillow or the inexplicable urge to rescue every stray German Shepherd dog you encounter (oh hang on, that’s me). It’s like emotional Velcro – once you stick, it’s hard to unstick. That sticky wicket of human experience is the glue that binds us. It’s like a warm hug from a friend or that stubborn piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe – once it’s there, it’s not going anywhere without a fight.
Attachments are sneaky little suckers that come in many shapes and sizes. From our sentimental hoarding tendencies (yes, I’m looking at your collection of souvenir antique kerosene lamps – oh hang on – that’s me too – lol) to our unhealthy obsession with our ex’s Instagram feed (seriously, Karen, put down the phone and step away from the avocado toast), we humans sure do love to cling to things like a koala to a eucalyptus tree (yes I really am Aussie). But in all seriousness, clinging onto things like Gollum with his “precious” ring isn’t altogether healthy.
There’s the attachment we have to people – ah, the tangled web we weave. From our nearest and dearest and the habits we love to hate (yes we all have them) to that barista who never fails to spell our name wrong on our morning latte, we form connections faster than a kid in a candy store. But beware, for not all attachments are created equal. Ever found yourself inexplicably drawn to that one friend who always seems to attract chaos like a magnet? Congratulations, you’ve stumbled upon what we in the biz like to call a “drama attachment”. Handle with care.
But fear not, for not all attachments are as fraught with peril as a poorly timed text to your ex. Take, for instance, our attachment to nostalgia. Ah, nostalgia – that warm, fuzzy feeling that makes us yearn for the simpler times of yore. Whether it’s reminiscing about the glory days of ’80s sitcoms and fashion or dusting off our old mixtapes (remember those – and yes I’m showing my age), there’s something oddly comforting about living in the past. Just don’t let it distract you from the present, lest you end up like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, forever reliving the glory days of high school football (love that movie and that dance so much).
On a personal note, for me right now, it’s selling a property. I’ve become so bloody attached to the sale of it that I seem to be pushing it away at every turn. I think we’ve pretty much attracted every type of buyer – the tyre kicker, the think it over, the ‘my Dad won’t let me’, the ‘I’ll be ready in a year’s time’ to ‘what are those trees’? I’ve become so fixated on the end result that it’s sucked me into a vortex of negativity that has become like letting the dirty water out of my bathtub and into the septic. Smelly, right?
There are secrets to unstick yourself from even the stickiest of situations. First up on our journey to liberation: embrace the power of impermanence. That’s right – nothing lasts forever. So go ahead and bid farewell to anything that no longer serves you. Trust me, your future self will thank you (and that’s a whole other blog post for another time).
Second on our hit list: learn to laugh at life’s absurdities. Because let’s face it, sometimes you’ve just got to laugh to keep from crying. Did your cat pee in your favourite pair of shoes? Did you accidentally send a text meant for your Psychologist to your boss instead? Hey, it happens to the best of us. So go ahead, embrace the chaos, and remember that laughter truly is the best medicine.
Next up on our journey to detachment is the noble art of decluttering. Yes, my friends, it’s time to bid farewell to those relics gathering dust in the attic (and even those ideas gathering dust in the attic of your mind that are no longer serving you). Also those impulse buys that never quite lived up to their potential. Channel your inner Marie Kondo and ask yourself, “Does this spark joy?” If the answer is no, it’s time to bid farewell (ditch, donate or dispose).
But wait, there’s more (and no I don’t have a set of free steak knives to give away)! We mustn’t forget the importance of perspective. Yes sometimes all it takes is a shift in perspective to turn that mountain into a molehill. So go ahead, take a step back, and ask yourself: will this matter a year from now? If the answer is no, then let it go like Adele belting out a power ballad. And most times, any challenge we see has options – you just have to see them and then act on them.
Next on our hit list: letting go of toxic relationships faster than a hot potato. We’ve all got that one friend who’s more drama llama (and yes I know what they look like – I have a herd of 10 of them for real in my back paddock) than zen master, am I right? It’s time to cut the cord and surround ourselves with people who lift us up rather than drag us down. Remember, you deserve friends who spell your name right on your morning latte (and don’t give you the disapproving glare at the fence – looking at you Bradley).
Last but certainly not least, welcome to the grand finale: practice self-compassion live mindfully in the now and embrace change. Because let’s be real, we’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got. All of us. So go ahead, cut yourself some slack, and remember that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. But also stop living in the past (and the future for that matter) and start embracing the here and now. And it’s also totally okay to scream into your pillow once in a while too or put down that dusty old mixtape and turn up the volume on life’s playlist.
And there you have it – a bit of a light-hearted guide to letting go of life’s stickiest situations. So go forth, prosper, and unstick yourselves from the attachments that have been weighing you down. Trust me, the view from the other side is well worth the journey and the learnings.
Until next week, stay untethered, unattached, buoyant and remain free.