In our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to overlook the small irritations that we put up with daily. These minor annoyances, known as tolerations, can significantly impact our mental and emotional well-being longer term too. From a cluttered workspace to an unresolved conflict, tolerations drain our energy and hinder our ability to live fully and freely. Let’s explore what tolerations are, why they matter, and how we can effectively address them to quieten the negative monkey chat going on in our heads and improve our quality of life.
What Are Tolerations?
Tolerations are the little things that we put up with but would rather not. They are the minor annoyances and unresolved issues that we tolerate instead of addressing. These can range from physical inconveniences, such as a leaky faucet or a messy desk, to emotional burdens like unspoken resentments or unfinished tasks.
The Impact of Tolerations
While each toleration might seem insignificant on its own, collectively, they can have a profound impact on our lives. Especially if we have developed the habit of not taking action on them. Here’s how:
- Energy Drain: Each toleration requires mental energy to ignore or put aside. Over time, this accumulation can drain our overall energy, leaving us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Sometimes there’s way too much ‘stuff’ going on in our heads and it can become quite tiring!
- Reduced Productivity: Tolerations often create distractions. A cluttered workspace, for instance, can make it harder to focus on tasks, reducing productivity and increasing stress. Or that unresolved conflict or perhaps a real conflict that we have on repeat in our minds.
- Emotional Weight: Unresolved issues, whether personal or professional, can weigh heavily on our minds. This emotional baggage can affect our mood, relationships, and overall happiness. Even our daily decisions can be impacted.
- Hindered Growth: By tolerating our tolerations, we may be hindering our own growth. Addressing these issues often leads to personal growth and improved problem-solving skills. Sometimes tackling things head on and getting out of our comfort zones is all we need to empower ourselves and self-esteem.
Why Do We Tolerate?
Understanding why we tolerate is key to overcoming these irritations. Here are a few reasons:
- Comfort Zone: We often stick to what’s familiar, even if it’s uncomfortable. As comfy humans, we really don’t like change – sometimes even the smallest things can bring up all manner of confrontation in us. Addressing tolerations head on requires us to step out of our comfort zones, which can be daunting and often times scary.
- Perceived Effort: We might overestimate the effort required to resolve a toleration. The thought of tackling it seems more exhausting than actually doing it. The stories we make up in our minds are very powerful and needless to say, rather exhausting.
- Fear of Change: Change can be terrifying. Even positive changes can cause anxiety because they disrupt our routine. And we like for things to stay the same. The unknown is a frightening place for many of us.
- Procrastination: Delaying action is a common human behaviour. We might delay in dealing with tolerations because we believe we’ll handle them “later.” Often times not and we can go decades tolerating a situation or a person.
Steps to Eliminate Tolerations
Eliminating tolerations involves conscious and deliberate effort in identifying and then directly addressing them. Here are some steps to get you started:
- Make a List: Start by listing all the things you are tolerating in your life. Be thorough and honest with yourself. And this can take time. You may not recognize everything in one sitting. You may need to journal this out over a much longer period of time like a week or a month. More tolerations will come up for you in differing situation and with different people you come into contact with. Tolerating your Uncle Steve’s sexist remarks when you see him once a month may have been something you have been tolerating for decades, but now you are aware and conscious of it, you can actually do something to change it.
- Prioritize: Not all tolerations are equal. Identify which ones have the most significant impact on your life and prioritize those ones first. Go back to your list and it will become obvious.
- Take Action: Begin addressing your tolerations one by one. Start with the easier ones to build momentum and a sense of fulfilment. You’ll start noticing some changes within yourself too.
- Set Boundaries: Learn to say no and set boundaries. This can prevent new tolerations from entering your life. Calling our bad behaviour will be a new mantra for you in what you tolerate around you.
- Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s from friends, family, or professionals, support can make the process easier. Sometimes talking something out brings new insights.
- Reflect and Adjust: Regularly review your list and progress. Reflect on how eliminating tolerations has impacted your life and adjust your approach as needed. Have you changed as a result?
The Benefits of a Toleration-Free Life
The benefits of eliminating tolerations extend beyond immediate relief. By addressing these minor irritations, you:
- Regain Energy: Free up mental and physical energy that was previously tied up in dealing with annoyances.
- Boost Productivity: Create a more conducive environment for focus and efficiency.
- Enhance Well-being: Experience a greater sense of peace and emotional well-being.
- Foster Growth: Develop resilience and problem-solving skills that can be applied to other areas of life. This is super empowering!
To Close
Tolerations are the silent energy drainers of our lives. By recognizing and addressing them, we reclaim our power and create a life that is more vibrant, productive, peaceful and fulfilling. It’s about making a deliberate choice to stop settling for less and start living more on purpose. So, take that first step, make your list, and begin the journey towards a toleration-free life. And don’t forget to have a bit of fun with it too.