Let’s talk truth: life after 50 isn’t some peaceful glide into the golden years that’s all unicorns and rainbows (sadly – I mean who doesn’t love a good unicorn every once in a while). It’s more like a high-wire act without a safety net (and I personally just love heights – nah, not really).  Only now you’re doing it in heels and with a killer lipstick collection (local, vegan and cruelty free thank you very much). By now, you’ve weathered storms, reinvented yourself more than once and proven you can survive just about anything.  Yes you!!  But even the fiercest among us have days when the emotional waves come crashing in harder than a bad haircut from the ’80s (thank God mullets are no longer a thing – or are they?)

We’ve walked through enough storms to know that “resilience” isn’t just a motivational poster with a mountain on it – it’s a life skill, a muscle and sometimes a downright survival strategy.

But here’s the thing no one warns you about: grit and determination aren’t just about pushing through. They’re also about knowing how to keep going when your emotions feel like they’re running the show and running you empty.

Because let’s face it, some days your inner warrior feels like Wonder Woman and other days she’s hiding under the doona stuffing her face with potato chips (guilty as charged and preferably BBQ flavour thanks).

Step One: Feel It, Don’t Fake It

One of the most damaging myths in mastering one’s mindset is the notion that you’ve got to plaster on a smile and “stay positive” 24/7 – you know the whole ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ cliché.  And it’s utter nonsense. You’ve earned the right to feel all your feelings – anger, sadness, frustration and without apology.  Have a bloody good yell and then a cry.  It actually does you good!

Here’s the magic: when you allow yourself to feel it all, you stop getting stuck in it. Acknowledge it, name it, feel all the way through it and then decide if it gets to drive the bus. (Spoiler: it doesn’t and you always get to choose.)

Step Two: Remember Your Track Record

Remind yourself of every single thing you’ve survived – even if it was just getting out of bed and climbing in the shower. The career upheaval. Health scares.  Divorce.  Your son taking that overseas job.  Saying goodbye to that beloved grandparent. The times you thought, “Well, that’s it, I’m done,”… and yet, here you are. Still standing. Still fabulous. Still plotting your next move.
You have decades of evidence that you can do hard things. Use it. Let it remind you that no matter how overwhelming – it’s never managed to take you out of the game completely.

Step Three: Borrow Your Own Future Self

I love, love, love this terminology!  When you’re in the thick of it, the present can feel claustrophobic and sometimes suffocating. That’s when I like to tap into my “future self” – the version of me six months from now, a year from now, five years’ from now who’s already navigated this mess and is sipping martinis in the south of France with her BFF.  Ask her: “What did you do to get through this?” Listen.  Then do that.

Step Four: Anchor to Your Non-Negotiables

When emotions get high, routines can crumble. And that’s exactly when you need your anchors most. Whether it’s your morning walk, journaling or blasting ‘80s power ballads, keep your non-negotiables intact.  They don’t just keep you grounded – they remind you of the badass that is still running the show.

Step Five: Reframe the Narrative

Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” try, “What is this making possible for me?” or “what am I learning here?”  That one shift can transform you from victim to architect of your own damn destiny.  And the real truth – there’s always learnings from every single little or perceived big failure.  The trick is to find them.

Here’s the truth: grit isn’t glamorous. Determination doesn’t always look like a motivational Instagram reel. Sometimes it’s ugly crying then getting up the next morning and showing up no matter what.  Or maybe the morning after that.

And resilience? It’s knowing that no matter how many times life knocks the wind out of you, you’ll breathe again. Stronger. Louder. And probably wearing that killer pair of boots (oooh la la).

So my bold and sassy sister, next time life throws you a curveball – swing like you mean it. And if you miss? Swing again (don’t you just love these tennis analogies).

Image by moerschy from Pixabay