Did you know that it’s not your fault you are where you are?! Feeling stuck, confused, lost, traumatized, overwhelmed and/or behind? There’s a reason you are feeling that way and it is absolutely not of your own doing. What a relief, right? Today I am going to share with you the reasons you are feeling the way you are and what really shifts mentally to bring about true and enduring transformation. Hint – it’s not what you think.
If you’re anything like me, you’re a Gen Xer. And pardon me for saying, I believe the most awesome generation there is! Excuse my bias there but I digress. You see, we pretty much raised ourselves. Our parents’ were working when we got home from school, we fed ourselves and usually went back out with our friends’, rode bikes, went to the local park, pinnie parlour or Time Zone and were always back by dark. Those were the ‘rules’. Some of us were rebels and broke them – regularly. Again, I digress. My point is, we were raised resilient. Brave. Courageous. Fearless. Independent. We arrived into adulthood fully expecting to see a continuation of this theme, but alas, we did not. We were baptised into a fire of misogyny, discrimination, overwork, underpayment and exploitation which resulted in burnout, overwhelm, exasperation and ultimately left questioning why did we have to go through this, what on earth are we doing here and what is our purpose exactly. Feeling me? And yes, I’ve been there. More than once sadly.
We started having children in our 30s (some of us, earlier), returned to work in our late 30s and really started questioning everything. For some us, divorce came in our 40s. And now in our 50s, we are tired and over it. You see, society demanded a lot from us. And now we’ve had time to stop and take a look around and call out the BS we’ve had to endure for so long. We’re now facing empty nesting, losing parents’, illness in our friend circles and family and potentially other traumas.
And now? Society wants us to drift away quietly. Shrink. Step aside to make way for the Milennials and Gen Xers. Well, I don’t think so! My worth is not measured by the academic accomplishments of my children, the career trajectory of my husband, the size of my mortgage or the postcode of where my parents’ have retired to. Hell no! We Gen X women are just getting started!
Understand that we have been raised by women who mostly moved into traditional female dominated careers when we were growing up – mainly because they had to! And yet still came home from work and cooked, cleaned and washed. Great role models – we yeah, I reckon so. They were the generation of multi taskers without complaint. They showed strength and resilience against a backdrop of serious misogyny and discrimination and somehow just kept showing up. I was raised by a single Mother so she had to do everything! As well as fight mental illness and caring for an ageing parent. We’ve observed women who put up with a LOT and we stepped straight into those shoes.
Now I am in no way blaming anyone here at all. This is by no means slinging mud at our Mums. Quite the opposite. I would not be who I am today without my Mother. No question. And her Mother and her Mother. All strong women who held it together for way longer than they ever should have. And now we are calling BS on all of it. We know what boundaries are and we are now holding them tight. We’ve had time and insight to take a look around and choose what we want and go after it. This is the most exciting time for our generation to be alive. We have so much available to us right now. Time. Money. Drive. Ambition and a fierce knowing of our power and influence.
So if you are feeling stuck, confused, lost, traumatized, overwhelmed and/or behind, just know that it’s not your fault. Society has demanded a crazy amount from us and we have observed a lot in our lifetimes. We’ve shared lives with Grandparents’ who survived 2 World Wars and Mothers who were smashing through barriers. Give yourself a pass. Pat yourself on the back for getting this far. Our generation has witnessed more change than any other and still we’re here. Standing tall and defining our generation for the next women watching us. It’s reinvention season and what a privilege that is!
Image: Gemini